Everyone are borned to be nice. They don’t know how to refuse people. That’s what we have to learn.
From childhood till now, from home to school, from school to workplaces and the society, we are used to comply with other’s orders. Even if you intend to refuse, you do not have the courage to say “no”.
This all arises from our inner concerns. In this society filled with different dramas and actings, it is impossible not to care about how others feel about you. Will they feel sad? Will they have a bad impression on me? Will they hate me? Because of all these considerations, you dare not to say “no”. At the end of the day, you promised everything but you got nothing in return at last except of a thank you.
Come on! Just be yourself! You could never satisfy everyone in your world. Once you are forcing yourself to fulfill everyone, you start to lose your own identity.
It is not others who control your life, it’s you yourself.
Somehow there is also a technique to refuse people. Below are some that I have tried and it turned out great.
1. First, refuse. Then add a note that you certainly would help again if you are able to/ when you have time.
2. Have an exchange of help. If you help them this time, tell them to help back you the other time.
Lastly, just be yourself. I still remembered the times when I don’t know how to refuse someone. Yet, sometimes you really have to lend a helping hand if someone is in dire need. Love you all and goodbye guys!
I mean everyone else is, not just mine, yours as well.
Sometimes you just get too exhausted and reply every message with a “lmao”
Not only at school, even at workplaces, if you meet “someone” who doesn’t do anything, AT ALL. It is frustrating and you have no choice but to face the reality. Until one day, that “someone” is your best friend.
Just the very last week, this actually happened to me. Let me give you some background information first. I’m the vice president of a house while my best friend is the president. It literally started with a big project without any progress throughout the whole month. On the day before deadline, we still hadn’t come up with an assured plan/proposal. It was extremely obvious that we must have a meeting and come up with “at least something”. Yet, she, as the president, chose to have lunch with her other friends and ignored the whole event we were handling. Could you imagine HOW MAD I am at that moment?
That very moment, I was like, “Okay, you are the president. Yet now you are having fun and ignoring all your responsibilities.” On the other hand I was like, “You are my best friend. Should I get mad at you and give up on our friendship?” I was in a ridiculous dilemma of whether I should get mad at her or not exteriorly. Maybe I was treating her over-kindheartedly. I opted to forgive her. Well actually my friend didn’t know anything, didn’t know about my inner drama ongoing. Now that I expressed myself through typing. Ya I’m much better. Thank you guys (though I know no one’s gonna read this)!